Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Art of Marriage
God has recently revealed to me areas that I need to change in my life in order to become a better wife to Bryan. Now, believe me, my husband is not perfect, but neither am I. It wasn't until I was married that I realized that marriage has a way of bringing to light how truly selfish we each are. It's hard to discover this, but once we admit how sinful and selfish we are, we can move to change it.
Some things that I want to work on changing is realizing that my husband is not the enemy. Last weekend when we were supposed to go visit my friend Morgan, I was so excited to see her. I had been waiting weeks and counting down the days. Unfortunately, the snow came and even though I knew we probably wouldn't be able to go see her, I kept telling myself we were. Bryan had to be the bad guy and make the decision that we weren't going. If I had been a good wife, I would have realized that even though he wanted to go, he was making the best decision in order to keep us both safe. So did I decide to be the good wife? Unfortunately, no. I treated him like the enemy, told him that I was mad at him and that he ruined my day. I wouldn't talk to him and we got into a huge fight. I'm not proud to admit that I did these things, but admitting them is part of the growing and healing! :) I eventually took time to cool down, and realized that it wasn't his fault. I apologized to him and made everything better.
I know that you might find it hard to believe, but I have a hard time apologizing. I guess part of my sinful, selfish, nature thinks that I never do anything wrong; however, that's not even close to being true. I'm slowly realizing that at times, I can be a huge brat to Bryan. I treat him in ways that are disrespectful and not loving. Thankfully, he's always gracious to forgive me! It's hard, but I can't wait to see what God is going to show me through this new study. I want to be the wife that Bryan deserves and I want our marriage to reflect the holiness of God- the way that it was designed to be!