It has taken me over a year to finish writing this post, but I finally did it! I wanted to write this down so I wouldn't forget anything. I don't especially like reliving these memories, but I do want to always remember how God moved in a mighty way in our lives! He is our ultimate healer and protector!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
It began on the morning of April 12th.
Bryan woke up and was talking about how he hadn't slept very good the night before, but we didn't think anything of it. We finished getting ready for school and off we went.
That night we had scheduled to go meet our friends Morgan and Chris for dinner and I couldn't wait; however, early that afternoon I received a text from Bryan saying that he did NOT feel good at all and we were going to have to cancel our date with Morgan and Chris that night. He said that his stomach was upset and he was just trying not to throw up at school. I knew that if he was canceling on Morgan and Chris, then he really felt bad. I tried to convince him to get someone to cover his class and to go home. He said he was going to try and stick it out until the end of the school day or stay as long as he could.
A couple of hours later Bryan texted me again and said that he had thrown up at school and was going home early. This was around 3:00. I had a meeting at Admin, so I didn't get home until 5:00. I went to check on Bryan and poor baby was passed out in bed. I saw that he had taken some cold and flu medicine and was dead asleep. I left him alone and he didn't wake up until about 7:00. When he woke up, he still didn't feel good. I was asking him if his stomach was still upset and he said some. I asked if he thought it was food poisoning and he said he hadn't really eaten anything that day so that couldn't be it. I took his temperature and he didn't have a fever. I warmed him up some chicken noodle soup and gave him some crackers, but he only had a few bites of that before he passed out again. I went to the store and stocked up on Sprite and Gatorade for him and headed home. Bryan woke up again that night around 9 and when I went to check on him, I touched his back and he felt SO hot! I went and took his temp again and this time it was 103.7! I'll admit, I began to freak a little bit. I don't know much about having a fever, but I was pretty sure a temp that high was NOT good. I asked Bryan what he wanted to do, but he said that it just meant his body was trying to fight off something. I went ahead and put in a sub for him because I knew that he wouldn't be going to school the next day. I also made an appointment for him at our clinic so we could get him checked out ASAP. He insisted that we sleep apart because he didn't want me and Abigail to get whatever he had, so off to the guest bedroom I went. I honestly thought it was a 24 hour bug and he would be fine in the morning.
Friday, April 13
I checked on him that morning before I left for school and he was still asleep. I scheduled his appointment at the clinic during my conference period so I could go with him. I went to the clinic and the Dr. basically said that it was some type of virus, but we didn't know what it was specifically and it probably would just have to run its course. She ran pretty much every test there was, strep, flu, took a urine sample, etc. but everything came back negative. She gave him a prescription for hydrocodone and that was it. Bryan still felt bad, but his fever was not as high as it had been. He went home and I went back to school.
Saturday, April 14
Still not much change. I just tried to take care of Bryan as much as possible, but he still felt really bad. He continued to have a low fever on and off and was basically in bed the entire time. That weekend sucked. I just wanted my husband to feel better.
Sunday, April 15
I went to school to meet with my long term sub and go over some things in my classroom. Bryan called me that afternoon and said that he felt so bad he was going to have our friends Wes and Amanda take him to the ER. I knew that it was bad if he wanted to go to the ER. I asked him if he wanted me to come home and he said no, he didn't want me in the ER around all the germs. Long story short, they took him to the ER, gave him an IV of fluid, ran the same tests that the clinic did, they all came back negative, and he was told it was just a virus that would have to run its course. I can remember Bryan coming home and telling me that he felt so stupid, and that he just wanted people to believe that he was really sick. Poor baby. I knew he was so sick. I felt so bad for him. I hated how much he was hurting and missed my husband. I was so over this and sleeping in the guest bedroom sucked!
Monday, April 16
Thankfully on Monday, Bryan's fever broke and we thought he was finally on the mend. I went to work and he stayed home and continued to rest. When I returned home from school, he said he was feeling ok, but I could tell he still wasn't anywhere close to 100% and still very weak. He wanted to try and go back to school the next day so we said we would try it. I was finally able to sleep back in my bed in our bedroom because he was finally fever free. I cleaned the room really good and changed the sheets. We still didn't get close to each other, but I was just so glad to be sleeping near him, in the same bed!
Tuesday, April 17
We got up and both went to work on Tuesday. When Bryan returned home, he said that going to work had not been a good idea. He really wanted to try it, but was just too weak and barely made it through the day. We put in for another sub so he could take Wednesday off. He decided to sleep in the guest bedroom and let me sleep in our room.
Wednesday, April 18
Bryan was asleep when I went to work the next morning. When I got home, his fever had returned and he couldn't get out of bed. I was feeling so helpless. I didn't know what to do! I was seriously about to loose it. I was getting so angry because nobody would/could help us and we were out of options. I decided to make another appointment for Thursday during my conference time to go back to the clinic and see if they could help us or do something.
Thursday, April 19
This was the worst day of my life.
That morning I went to work and left during my conference time to go meet Bryan at the clinic. I got there and couldn't believe how he looked. It was a miracle that he was able to get out of bed and drive himself to the clinic. While we waited at the clinic for the Dr. he just laid on the table with his eyes closed, not speaking. The Dr. came in and began to ask him questions. I could tell she was worried. She did some more tests, and the results were all the same as the first time we came in, almost a week ago. She told us that he needed to go to the ER. When I heard that, I couldn't keep the tears in. I was so worried about Bryan and he had already been to the ER once that week already and it had solved nothing. The nurse came back in and gave me a receipt, telling me that she had refunded our money and they weren't making us pay the co-pay. That made me cry even harder because they were being so nice. We got in the car and I called my school and told them that I had to take Bryan to the ER so I wasn't going to be coming back to school that day. I drove back to the same ER that Bryan had vistied earlier that week. Our Dr. said that would be best since they already had his information and test results. She was awesome and called over to tell them we were coming.
We arrived at the ER around 10:30 a.m. They took Bryan in and we didn't have to wait long before they got him checked in because our Dr had called ahead and he'd already been there once early that week. They put us in one of the rooms in the ER and began doing all of the tests. This part is a little fuzzy for me. All I can remember is Bryan whispering to them that he had a headache that was a 10. I called our friend Amanda because I remember them asking me questions, but I didn't know how to answer them or what to ask. I was such a mess. I called her and begged her to come to the ER and talk for me. I just needed her to be in charge because she was the best person to handle the situation, because it definitely wasn't me! Amanda said she would try to be there as soon as possible and that I needed to find a mask because you never know what germs are in an ER. I can remember one of the male nurses telling me "not to worry, he probably just had the flu". I may not be able to remember much, but I distinctly remember that and the fury I felt when he said that. I wasn't stupid and I KNEW my husband didn't have the flu! I swiped a mask from the desk in the ER and I remember them looking at me like I was crazy, and why did I need that, and I told them, "Hello! I'm 38 weeks pregnant!"
I remember sitting there for hours. I can remember being so cold. There was this nice older gentleman nurse in the ER That thankfully brought me a blanket that I curled up in. I continued to wait for several more hours trying to figure out what was going on with Bryan. I texted all of our close family and friends to let them know what was going on. Doctors and nurses kept coming in giving me information that I couldn't process. I couldn't remember it all. The sweet nurse brought me a package of crackers and peanut butter with some juice. I don't think I've ever been more appreciative of those crackers and peanut butter than I was then. They finally came and told me that they were admitting Bryan to the hospital. I called Amanda and she said she was on her way. I remember calling Bryan's dad and crying hysterically on the phone telling him what happened. He told me that Willa was on her way. Amanda finally got there and I've never felt so relieved. I knew she would take care of things for me. I left to go eat lunch because I knew that I needed to eat something for the baby. I drove to a Sonic that was close and forced myself to eat something. I can remember I ordered a Dr. Pepper to drink and thought that I probably should be drinking water, but I didn't care. I was having a BAD day! I drove back to the hospital, walked into the ER just in time for Amanda to tell me that they were wheeling Bryan up to his hospital room. We rode up on the elevator with him. It was all so surreal to me. We got checked into his room and were sitting there for a little while when Willa arrived. I can just remember her walking in and going to give her a hug and us just crying while she told me everything was going to be ok. I remember Bryan woke up and whispered to us that the bright lights hurt his eyes. We turned everything off and just sat in the dark room.
I didn't stay for very long with him because coincidentally I had my weekly Dr.'s appointment. This was the only appointment that Bryan didn't go with me to. I drove to my appointment while Bryan and Amanda stayed with Bryan. Our best friends Jacque and Jason met me at my Dr.'s appointment so I wouldn't be alone. I was so glad that they were there. I got checked out and everything looked good with Abigail. After we finished the appointment, I decided to go up to school and have Jacque and Jason help me finish some last minute things, especially since I left them in the lurch. The next day was my last day of school and I was going on maternity leave. We worked for a while and they helped me get everything ready. I can remember Jacque being on the phone several times and going out of the room to talk to whoever it was privately. I also looked on my phone and saw that she had texted herself Willa's cell phone number from my phone so I knew something was up. I just didn't say anything and we finished up working. I told them that I would keep them updated and they gave me a big hug and we left. I stopped by the house to get a phone charger and then headed up to the hospital.
When I arrived at the hospital and walked up to Bryan's room, I saw that Amanda and Willa were sitting outside in the hallway, on the floor. The first thing that I thought was that maybe they just were taking a break and didn't want to disturb Bryan with turning on the lights or anything. When I walked up, Amanda went and got me a chair and they told me to sit down. When I heard that, I knew it wasn't good. Willa proceeded to tell me that Bryan had viral meningitis. Amanda thought that he caught it from one of his students that had been absent from school for 2 weeks because he had the same thing. The worst part was that because I was 38 weeks pregnant, they said that I could not go in at all and see Bryan. They said that he would be staying in the hospital until probably Sunday depending on how he was then but that depending on when I had the baby, he might not be able to be in the delivery room with me if he was still contagious. I just sat there and cried. I can remember Willa asking me what I was most scared of, and I said that I was scared that he wasn't going to be able to be with me when Abigail was born. That was more than I could take. They both told me that they really didn't think that would happen and that he would be able to be there. They also told me that they had called my mom and asked her to drive up to be with me, but I called my mom and we decided that she would just come up the next afternoon. I decided to go to school anyway the next day and finish out my last day. I knew that I would absolutely go crazy if I had to sit around and do nothing, especially since I wasn't allowed to see Bryan. Around 7 or 8:00 that night Amanda and I decided to leave and go home and Willa stayed at the hospital with Bryan. They were concerned about cleaning my house to get rid of the germs, but I told them I promised that I would go straight home and go to bed. My bedroom and bathroom were still safe because Bryan hadn't been in there. I texted Jacque and Jason before I left and gave them updates. Willa had called and told her while we were working at school, but they didn't want me to know until I was there in person. Jacque told me that she just cried and it was so hard driving away, knowing what I was going to the hospital to find out. I told her that everything was ok and just to pray!
I got home late that night and walked into the house (remember, I left early that morning after I got ready and went straight to work). I remember walking into the kitchen and turning the light on. When the light came on, I looked on the floor and saw that everything that was under our kitchen sink cabinet had been pulled out and thrown on the floor. I didn't know if someone had broken in or what had happened. I went to investigate the other rooms and walked into the guest bedroom where Bryan had been staying. The covers were all on the floor, but when I looked on the sheets, I saw that there was vomit and blood all over them. I just started to cry because I felt so bad because I realized that sometime during the night he had thrown up and I didn't even know about it. I went and looked in the guest bathroom and saw blood ALL over the toilet, beside the shower, splattered on the floor. It was everywhere! I realized that Bryan must have gotten sick in the night and then tried to clean it up, hence the mess in the kitchen (our cleaning supplies are kept under the sink). The worst part was that I couldn't clean any of it up because it was contagious. I had to leave it all there and it killed me. The one thing I couldn't do though was leave the sheets. I had to do something. I took the sheets off, only barely touching the edges and put it in the washer with hot water. I can remember just sobbing and sobbing. Sobbing because of how sick Bryan had been and I didn't even know. I was in my bed, sleeping away, while he was vomiting up blood everywhere. I knew he had been in so much pain and I didn't do anything to help him. He didn't even tell me! I felt so guilty that I hadn't been there, guilty for sleeping, guilty for not being a better wife to him. It broke my heart. That night I remember just praying and praying and praying.... that God would let me sleep and take away the knowledge of what I had to leave sitting in my guest bathroom, that God would heal Bryan, that God would keep me healthy and not get sick, that Bryan would be well enough to be in the delivery room with me when I had Abigail. I just prayed and then thankfully, I slept.
Friday, April 20
I woke up Friday morning and got ready, then went to school. Willa kept me updated on Bryan and thankfully said that sometime that night Bryan's fever had broken! Everyone that went in to see Bryan had to wear the full "suit" and mask!
I finished my last day of school and then went home. While I had been at work, Willa sweetly came to our house and cleaned the guest bathroom and bedroom so I wouldn't have to see that. My parents drove in that evening, so we met them at Saltgrass for dinner. I was so glad that they were there. After dinner, Willa decided to go back to the house and sleep since she had barely gotten any sleep in the past 24 hrs. My parents and I went up to the hospital to check on Bryan and take him some clothes and things that he needed. They masked up and went in to see him.
I sat out in the hall and waited. It was so hard to do! We didn't stay very long but I was able to look in his room and see him for a brief second. I couldn't wait until he came home!
Saturday, April 21
Will and my parents were so awesome during this time! Willa helped with laundry, my Dad completely cleaned out and organized our whole garage, and my mom cleaned our house from top to bottom. I can remember that she cleaned the guest bathroom several times but we couldn't get the smell of blood out of the bathroom. We finally had to resort to poring bleach down the toilet, sink, and shower. I'll never forget that smell.
Bryan was so excited that he was finally off liquids and was able to eat his first solid meal for breakfast! He said it was so good he actually cried! :)
I was instructed to lay down and relax for most of the day because my swelling was OUT of control because of how much and how long I'd been on my feet and all of the stress that I'd experienced that week. My mom and I still talk about how swollen my feet and legs were. I received a text from Bryan that afternoon saying that he was going to be released from the hospital! We were so excited, especially since we thought he was going to be released on Sunday. Willa went to go pick him up from the hospital. I'll never forget when he came home. I was laying on our bed, resting in our bedroom when he walked in. The moment I saw him, I lost it. He laid down beside me and we both just cried. I was so happy that he was home and better! I don't think I realized how scared I had been until he was finally laying next to me. I just thanked God over and over that Bryan was home and I could touch him and be next to him. I realized how much I took that for granted when he was sick and I couldn't touch him and then when he was contagious and I couldn't see him.
God was so good in protecting me and Abigail from getting sick and healing Bryan during this time. I couldn't have made it without the help from our family and friends! We are so blessed! Even though Bryan was able to go home, he didn't go back to work until Tuesday the next week. He felt better, but was SO weak and had to make sure that he didn't over do it. It probably took until Wednesday the next week, which happened to be my birthday, until he finally felt more back to normal! We both just took it easy that day! :)
I have no idea why God allowed this to happen, but I saw His provision and protection the entire time. In my weakness, He was strong and I felt His presence more than ever. I know that I learned to never take my husband for granted. I learned that it doesn't matter if I understand, I just need to have faith! My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do!