So, I had an interesting conversation tonight with my husband about me being social, or rather the lack of. You see, I'm definitely an introvert and my husband is definitely the extrovert. If we were at a party, I would stay attached to my husband and let him do all the talking, maybe jumping into the conversation a time or two. If we were talking to complete strangers, I probably wouldn't ask any questions, but would respond if asked one. I don't like to walk up to random strangers or people that I don't really know and talk to them. My husband, as a friend once said about her husband, "could talk the paint off of a wall and then have it talk back!"
Most of the time, I don't really think about this. I enjoy being alone and having some quiet time. This probably stems from the fact that I come from a family of 9 and grew up without any space and rarely any privacy. I don't have to be around people all of the time, but my husband does. I love going out with our best friends, but we don't have any that actually live in Rockwall. Close, but not enough where we could hang out at the drop of a hat.
Tonight my husband was concerned that I was too unsocial, not happy, and don't have any friends. I tried to explain to him that I AM happy and if that changed I'd let him know! :) Well, the more that I thought about what he said tonight, the more that I realized that I really don't have any girl friends that I hang out with in Rockwall. It's different for Bryan because he has a few guys that he could call up and go hang out with anytime. Me, not so much. I just am not comfortable doing that.
It's hard for me to explain it to my husband, but I feel that I shouldn't really have to work hard at making a friend. When I think back to when I met all of my best, lifelong, friends, I either just happened to come in contact with them, we had something in common, or we just met and totally clicked. I've never had to try to get any of those friendships. I just want it to automatically happen, and nothing be awkward about it. I just don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard, or a loser you know? I can't stand the thought of me forcing my friendship on someone.
The other thing that I hate is the fact that I have met all of you wonderful people in the blog world, but it's practically impossible for us to be real life friends. Mostly because you live in a different state, or somewhere nowhere near where I live! It just kills me because I know that with some of you, if we lived in the same city, we'd be best friends. I could call you up to go shopping, or go get a mani/pedi or just hang out doing nothing. I miss doing that with my real life best friends.
Bryan and I have been doing good with getting involved with our church and life group and met a ton of great couples! Bryan of course has clicked with several of the guys and I like hanging out with the girls, but it hasn't gone any further than that. I know that I need to be more social and put myself out there, but it's just so hard!
I love my husband to death and love spending time with him, but sometimes I just need a girl friend to hang out with! I'm sorry this is such a depressing post. You can blame it on my husband for making me think about it in the first place! ;) Just please pray that God will bring me a friend. I've prayed about this once before and He brought me Bryan! Maybe this time I'll be a bit more gender specific when I pray! ;)
Well, thanks for listening to me complain! I'll try to write a happier post next time! :)