Thursday, December 2, 2010

"Hurt" doesn't even begin to describe it...

This is one of those nights that I'm glad that I have a blog. I'm glad that I have a place to write about my feelings and the freedom to put it all out there. Because tomorrow, I have to put these feelings aside and act a completely different way then I want to, or should even have to.

Tonight I worked until 6:30 up at school catching up on work and putting up Christmas decorations. I brought dinner home for my husband and myself and we watched a little t.v. After I finished eating, I got online to check my normal Facebook, e-mail, and school mail even though my husband believes that we shouldn't check work e-mail from home. I don't agree with him and tonight I'm glad that I don't.

I got online and saw that I had two e-mails from a parent in my classroom. I opened up the first e-mail and it went something like this. This parent wrote in the e-mail that I was so sweet in wanting to talk to them about things and then wrote, "NOT!". The parent continued to write and say that it made them not want to collect money for my class Christmas present, but that they guessed they would still try and be nice.

So, this parent obviously was e-mailing someone else, gossiping and complaining about me behind my back, but then accidently sent ME the nasty e-mail that was meant for someone else.

I then opened the next e-mail from this parent and in this e-mail they confessed that the previous e-mail was not meant for me (no DUH) and that they felt like I didn't like talking to them and some other stuff.

I literally could not believe this! I've NEVER had this happen to me before and I have no idea how to handle it. I'm still in shock. What's even worse is that this parent's child is one that I love so much and the child is absolutely precious! I just don't understand it.

I'm so hurt right now. I want to call this person and give them a piece of my mind..but I can't. I have to be professional. Tomorrow when I go to work, I have to act like this isn't a big deal and I'm not hurt. But it's a very big deal.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

7 comments:

JMMSchoenfield said...

That is absoultely crazy!!! And I would be in shock as well...but the only thing to do is smile your beautiful smile and know that they are VERY VERY embarrassed (at least they should be).

Something's Gotta Give said...

Wow. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that jerk of a parent. I'm honestly not sure what you should do. Is there someone at school you can ask about an appropriate response? In my work, I would probably send a very benign e-mail back, like, "I'm so sorry you feel that way, and please feel free to speak with me about it so we can work things out. I love teaching your child, and I would like to have a good relationship with the parents." Or something. But I don't know if that would just make it worse.

Ugh, I'm so sorry.

Erica @ on the move said...

They should definitely be embarrassed. If they had a problem with you, it would have been better to your attention than sending gossipy e-mails.

On that note, I think what I would do is to contact the parent and use the e-mail as a means for opening a dialogue. Something along the lines of, "I was distressed to find out that you have a problem with my performance as a teacher, especially a problem I was not previously aware of. I would like the opportunity to talk to you about this so that we can work out this, and any future situations, in an atmosphere of cooperation so that we can both do the best for your child."

If she does have a real issue with you for some reason, then you are handling it maturely and giving her the chance to also be an adult about it. If she doesn't want to talk, then either she was criticizing where it wasn't deserved, or she'll continue to handle this childishly, and you shouldn't give her comments a second thought.

Of course, I've never been a teacher, so I don't know what would be most appropriate.

Tyly said...

Wow. I'd definitely be hurt at well. Well, hurt and pretty pissed.

I'd at least take a little comfort in the fact that she must be humiliated. If not, she definitely should be.

I would contact her via email and be professional, but not overly nice. I would explain to her that I never had a reason to believe there was a problem, as she never spoke with me about it. I would ask her if there are specific things she was wanting to know, or if she is just wanting more communication in general. I'd definitely be sure to stress that she has never approached me about this issue, and so there was no way I could have known. I'd also ask her to please come to me with any concerns, because that's the only way anything would get solved.

What an idiot. Some parents are ridiculous.

Amber said...

I'm really sorry that happened. I have received an email before that wasn't intended for me but included gossip about me and it was very hurtful.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what to suggest. I'm not a teacher so I don't really have insight to parent/teacher relations or what would be appropriate in this circumstance. If it happened in my office, I would feel completely comfortable addressing the issue - but there aren't young children involved and I'm not held to the standard that you are as a teacher.

Sorry you are dealing with all of this. Try and have a great Friday in spite of it all! :)

clw said...

I agree with everyone. You most definitely can't let this fester. It needs to be addressed. The sooner the better, too. Be nice and professional, take the higher road, of course. But don't just ignore this.

I would speak to the principal or team leader and get their input on how to handle this situation. It needs to be remedied ASAP. Whatever you do, don't just let it go.

Good luck, friend. So sorry this happened :(

The Hamilton's said...

Chelsey, just be really careful about how you approach this person. Clearly they are embarrased or they would not have sent you the secone email. If you choose to email them back, then you need to CC in your principal or Super so that they are aware of the situation. Otherwise you may end up in a meeting where your words are being used against you. My suggestion would be to ignore the emails, take a deep breath, remind yourself that God loves you and them both, and hope for a great Christmas Break. :)

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