I joined the club :(

December 2, 2012

Today I joined a club that everyone told me I would join one day. They said it happens to us all, but I didn't believe them. I thought if I tried really hard, I could avoid it. I was wrong.

Today I joined the "I let my baby roll of the bed" club. :( *hangs her head in shame

I had just picked up Abigail from the babysitters and she was sleepy so we went and laid down in my bed to take a nap. I was on the phone with my mom and Abigail was laying right beside me, in the middle of the bed. She was rolling around, talking to me like normal. I saw that she was rolling around, changing postitions, but I was still watching her. I got off the phone with my mom and placed my phone down, then looked to my right to see Abigail's booty in the air, kicking her feet, falling head first to the ground. I can remember everything happening in such slow motion. When I saw her, I knew she was going to fall off the bed. I knew that there was no way I could get up off the bed and run around to the other side, or even leap over to the side of the bed and grab her feet. She fell so fast. I can just remember thinking "Oh my God, she just fell off the bed!"

I raced to the other side where she was just laying on her back, looking up at me. As soon as she saw me she started crying. I grabbed her and just began apologizing over and over again, asking her if she was ok. I checked her over and she saw that she was fine. She didn't even really cry that hard or very long. That's when I lost it. I was the one bawling and cried more than she did! Bryan was still at work and I called him and blubbered out that Abigail had rolled off the bed. After he found out she was ok, he told me that everything was ok, and it wasn't a big deal. That still didn't make me feel any better though. I kept checking her for signs of a concussion, but she didn't have any. She didn't even have a bump or bruise or anything. I still was scared to put her back on our bed, or her changing table, etc. I just sat on the floor with her for a while because that's the only place I felt really safe with her!

She was her normal self again after that, but I felt bad the whole rest of the night! :( When we went to bed I was still crying. I told Bryan that I could still see her falling in my mind. We just praised God that He protected her and she was fine. Let me tell you, I don't wish that on any parent! It was such a horrible feeling, knowing you had hurt your child, when you love them so much! I'm better now, but believe me when I say that day was tramatizing for Mommy! So that's my story of how I joined the club.

Abigail's 1st Halloween!

For Abigail's first Halloween, she dressed up as a ladybug/princess! When I began to search for costumes, I had a hard time finding anything that would fit her. I was surprised at how little there was for her size! Thank goodness I found this awesome shop on Etsy that sold wings, a tutu, and a bow for an amazing price! I was sold and couldn't wait to dress her up!

On Halloween night, we went with some friends to one of the neighborhoods in Rockwall and went trick-or-treating with them. We had so much fun showing off Abigail and everyone loved how cute she was! She of course put on a great big show for everyone! We had a great time and got some super cute pictures that night. Enjoy!

Pumpkin Patch!

We took Abigail to the pumpkin patch here in Rockwall and had a great time! We visited the Blasé Family Farm and had a great experience! We invited Wes, Amanda, Audrey and Garrett to come along and had a fun day! Amanda was so nice to take some pictures of us after our camera stopped working. Thankfully they turned out great!

We woke up that morning and arrived at the farm. We had to make a slight detour when someone decided to have a giant dirty diaper right before we were about to go in! Mommy was so glad that it didn't get on your cute outfit that Gram bought you! We changed our diaper and were on our way!

We took some pictures by the pumpkins and then received feed for the animals and headed over to say hello!

 I think Abigail's face here is PRICELESS! Hahahahaha....

We had such a great time and can't wait to go back next year!

Abigail by the Month! (5)

Abigail turned 5 months old on October 1, 2012!

Abigail, this is what you are currently doing:

• You are now in 3 month clothes! Mommy had to clean out your closet and put away all your newborn/0-3 month clothes. It made her sad! :(
• You're still in size 1 diapers, but we're getting close to moving up to size 2!
• We're guessing you weigh around 11/11.5 lbs! You definitely have put on some weight this month and we're so glad. We can tell you're getting heavier!
• You're eating 6 oz now every 2-2.5 hrs!
• Mommy still nurses you in the morning when you wake up, when she gets home from school and then before bed. You have bottles of breastmilk when you're at the babysitters and we've also started adding a bottle of formula.
• Your naps are still not very consistent. You sleep anywhere from 30 min-2 hrs a day. I'm not too concerned though because of how great you're sleeping at night!
• You still sleep all though the night! Sleeps from 8:30-9 p.m until normally 6-7 a.m. This month you had several mornings when you woke up at 5/5:30 in the morning because you were hungry. I think it was your growth spurt though.
• You play more during the day and are really starting to focus more on everything around you!
• You still love to sit in your bumbo and bouncer.
• You still love playing on your play mat but when you're done you want to be picked up now!
• You still love to talk and make all sorts of noises!
• You still love your bath time!
• You still love riding in the car seat!
• Your hands are currently in your mouth ALL the time! You normally suck on your index fingers the most, but still no teeth.
• You are still drooling A LOT!
• You continue to do well at MDO. 
• You are still rolling around a lot and have been sitting up better, but still not on your own.
• You slept in your room in your bassinet for the first time on September 30th! Mommy was glued to the monitor but you did so great! We transitioned you to your crib the next week and you did great with that too!
• You still sleep in your swaddle and Mommy rocks you to sleep at night. I love our night time snuggles!
• You had your first trip to the pumpkin patch and took some amazing pictures! Our princess knows how to smile for the camera!
• You celebrated your first Halloween and dressed up as a ladybug princess. You stole the show and looked beautiful!
• You went to Nana & Papa's this month while Mommy celebrated her 10 year high school reunion. Everyone loved you!                                                                                  

You are growing way too fast baby girl! Slow down time! :)

Abigail by the Month! (4)

Abigail turned 4 months old on September 1, 2012!

Abigail, this is what you are currently doing:

• You still wearing a few 0-3 things, but are now wearing mostly 3 month clothes! Mommy has to really look to find things that are long enough for you and not too short in the waist!
• You're still in size 1 diapers
• Weigh 10.5 lbs!
• You're eating 4 oz every 2-2.5 hrs
• Mommy nurses you in the morning when you wake up, when she gets home from school and then before bed. You have bottles of breastmilk when you're at the babysitters.
• You're taking about a 30 min- 1 hr nap twice a day.
• You still sleep all though the night! Sleeps from 8:30-9 p.m until normally 6-7 a.m
• You play more during the day.
• You still love to sit in your bumbo, but not for a long time. 
• You still love playing on your play mat
• You talk all the time and have begun to have new squeals!
• You still love your bath time!
• You still love riding in the car seat!
• Your hands are currently in your mouth ALL the time! You normally suck on your index fingers the most, but still no teeth.
• You are still drooling A LOT!
• You continue to do well at MDO. 
• You have started to really roll over and scoot around on your mat!
• You got your first cold and had your first sick trip to the Dr.'s office! :( Mommy was so sad! We got you an antibiotic and that cleared it right up! You didn't seem too fazed by it though so we were glad!
• You are still so happy 99% of the time!                                                                                   

Mommy & Daddy are so blessed to be your parents and we love you so much princess!

Abigail's 1st Football Game!

On September 14th, we went to Lorena to visit my family and to take Abigail to her first Lorena football game! Abigail was a princess on the drive down and I was thankful for that! We made it just in time to take some pictures with Papa before the game! I've been so excited and waiting for this moment since I found out I was pregnant!

 

 

 

 

She was such a good girl at the football game! We had a great time hanging out with Nana and cheering on Papa and the Leopards! We weren't able to stay for the whole game because little Missy had to go home, take her bath and go to bed. She slept great that night and the next day we went to lunch with Nana and Daddy at Newk's and then shopping for Abigail! That night wasn't so great for baby girl. She began sneezing that day and woke up that night at midnight with a stuffy nose. I tried putting her back to sleep, but she woke back up again. I knew that her nose was stuffed up, so I got the nose sucker out and sucked her nose out. She hated it but I got out a lot of green stuff, so I knew that wasn't good. Poor baby! She didn't feel good. We had to keep sucking her nose out the next day also so I knew she was getting sick. Except for the getting sick part, we had a great weekend!

Abigail by the Month! (3)

Abigail turned 3 months old on August 1, 2012! She is definitely more wiggly this time around, so our pictures weren't the best! ;)

 Abigail, this is what you are currently doing:

• You still wearing mainly 0-3 clothes, most of your 3 month stuff is still too big!
• You're still in size 1 diapers
• Weigh around 9 lbs!
• You're eating 3.5-4 oz every 2-2.5 hrs
• Mommy nurses you in the morning when you wake up, when she gets home from school and then before bed. You have bottles of breastmilk when you're at the babysitters!
• You're taking about a 30 min- 1 hr nap.
• You still sleep all though the night! Sleeps from 9-10 p.m until normally 6-7 a.m
• You play more during the day.
• You began sitting in your bumbo! You're still small so it's hard to sit up all by yourself, but we're working on it!
• You rolled over for the first time on August 26th!
• You still love playing on your play mat and talk to your flower all the time.
• You talk all the time. I'm hearing lots of new sounds!
• You still love your bath time!
• You still love riding in the car seat!
• You are beginning to teeth! Your hands are currently in your mouth ALL the time! You normally suck on your index fingers the most.
• Because of the teething, you are drooling A LOT!
• You started going to your babysitter Tiffany's house and have done so well! You love that her older girls show you so much love and play with you all the time.
• You don't nap consistently at Tiffany's. Some days you do, others you don't.
• You had your first day at Mother's Day Out and love your teachers.
• You always get glowing reports from them!
• You are currently the only girl in your class! John Thomas is in your class though and he watches out for you!
• Mommy and Daddy started back to school and it was crazy busy around our house, but you were such a good girl!

Abigail, you truly are Mommy's sunshine! I love you to the moon and back!:)

Small Steps!

We finally decided that it was time for Abigail to begin sleeping in her own room! She honestly has done so well that we didn't have any need to move her. She's always slept like an angel, all night long, since she was born in her bassinet, in our room. We have bath, dinner, swaddle, then Mommy rocks and puts her to bed.

I've been noticing that she's getting super fussy and throwing huge fits, not wanting to eat, etc. She's NEVER like this so I finally figured out that she was getting more tired earlier and ready for bed. Normally, I try to get all of my stuff done and myself ready for bed when she was ready to go to sleep. However, it's always a battle and I end up putting her down later than I'd like. I finally told Bryan that it was time, so we decided to move her into her room on Sunday, Sept. 30th! She did great with the exception of waking up at 3:30 am b/c she had peed through her pj's and swaddle. I ended up getting up, changing her, and feeding her since she was already up. For some reason it took me longer to put her back down. She would be completely out and then wake up when I put her in her bassinet. Finally, I was able to crawl back in bed at 5:00. Yeah, I think that was her retaliation for us putting her in her own room! Haha!

I was really sad the first night and kept looking at the monitor checking on her. I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried! I told Bryan that I just missed her! Bryan told me that we could put her back in our room if I wanted, but I said no. I was just being selfish wanting her in there by me. I knew the best thing was putting her in her room so she could go to bed early and get more sleep. I will admit though that it's nice not having to worry about waking her up! :)

I'm happy to report that last night was her second night in her room and she did awesome! Mommy did a lot better too!

This is a picture of her still snoozing away while Mommy was getting ready this morning. I love this sweet girl! Time, slow down.

Slipping Away and God's Provision!

Written on August 19, 2012

Tomorrow is the day that Abigail will go to her babysitter. I will drop her off with a stranger while I go to work.

I know that I'm not the only mother that has/is struggling with this. I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last. I know that you've all probably been in my shoes and felt what I'm feeling. That doesn't make it any easier though.

This week has been so hard. If I had to describe what I'm feeling it would be that time with my daughter is slipping away. I had to go to 3 days of mandatory trainings for work, so I was gone all day on Monday, Tues, and Wed. I also moved back down to teach Kindergarten last Friday and was only able to get into my classroom and move out/into the new one on Thursday. The silver linings were that my amazing mom came and watched Abigail for me and brought her to me at the trainings so I could nurse her. I was glad that I didn't have to use any of my pumped milk that I've been trying so hard to store up and my mom was so awesome to do that for me!

Wednesday my mom left and that night I told Bryan that I needed to go shopping for school clothes. That's just another depressing subject b/c I can't find any clothes that fit my new Mommy post pregnancy/nursing body. I can remember driving in the car and being mad that I had to go shopping, instead of happy that I GET to go shopping. I realized that it was because it was just another thing that I had/needed to do instead of being at home, spending time with my daughter. When I got home, and was feeding Abigail, I just sat there and cried. Cried because I had to go back to work, cried because I haven't been spending as much time with her as I wanted to, cried because I just felt like a bad mom because I was spending time on things that were taking me away from her. I can remember holding her crying, and she stopped eating and just looked at me for the longest time with this look on her face like, "Mommy what's wrong? Don't cry Mommy. It's ok!" Of course that just made me cry even more.

I want SO bad to be able to stay at home with her, but we just can't right now. God hasn't provided a way for us to do that this year, so I'm going back to teach. Even though he hasn't provided a way for me to stay home, He has provided in so many other ways. He has provided a wonderful person to keep Abigail. Her name is Tiffany and she's wonderful!

When Bryan and I were looking for someone to keep Abigail, we knew that we wanted someone that was stay at home, and not a daycare, and someone that shared our same beliefs. We looked and looked and finally thought we'd found someone great but God ended up closing that door because this Mom had to go back to work. She called me and told me she couldn't do it and I told her I understood. The day before I had a conversation with Bryan and he told me that he had seen James (Tiffany's husband) at work and randomly asked him if Tiffany ever had kept any kids. James said she hadn't, but he'd ask her if she'd be interested. The next day I found out the other lady couldn't do it and was at lunch with Bryan telling him about our conversation. Right after we finished, Bryan's cell phone rang, it was James, and he was calling to tell us that Tiffany said yes she would keep Abigail for us! God provided and we knew that was what he wanted us to do. I had only met Tiffany one time before when our families ran into each other at CiCi's, but had a peace about it.

Here are some amazing things that give me peace/ways that God has blessed us with Tiffany:

• Bryan works with her husband James and they've worked together for several years. I actually met James a long time ago and knew he was a great guy.
• They have 3 younger girls so she's way more experienced with being a Mom to girls than I even am!
• Their oldest daughter is in school so she'll still only have 3 girls at home most of the time.
• Their youngest daughter is about 1.5 so they still have all the baby stuff at their house, like bibs, burp rags, pack and play, etc. that I don't have to worry about providing!
• They have a mini van and an extra carseat so they have plenty of room for all the girls and I don't have to take all of our stuff over/out of our car every day!
• They live in our neighborhood about 2 miles away from our house!
• Tiffany works at a local church's MDO 2 days a week, so Abigail will be going with her on those days.
• We visited the MDO and LOVED IT! Abigail will be in a super small class and only go 2 days a week from 9-2 so she'll get some interaction with other children her age and be at church! How awesome is that?!
• I called to reserve Abigail's spot at MDO and got the last one!
• At MDO she will be with several of our best friend's kids, so she'll have friends she "knows".
• Tiffany and James are both Christians and raise their children in the same way we will raise Abigail.
• They have been so understanding and sweet. Tiffany told me that she was even going to make Abigail and special "spot" in their room for all of her stuff and that she would consider Abigail as one of her own.

Even though I'm so nervous, I know God will watch over her and keep her safe. I keep thinking of the story of Hannah in the Bible. She prayed and prayed that God would give her a child and if He would, she promised to give him back to the Lord. I can not imagine being able to do that. I try to tell myself that if Hannah could do it, then I can. I will continuously give Abigail to God and know that she will be safer in His hands than she could ever be in mine!

Abigail's 2 month checkup

Abigail turned 2 months on July 1st, but since we were in Destin on vacation at that time we had to schedule her appointment for later that month, on July 19th. I remember when we were making the appointment, I stood there at the desk and entered the appointment into my phone when we agreed on it. The week of her appointment I was of course nervous about it, because I knew she was going to be getting her 2 month shots. I was scared of the unknown. Would she be ok, would she run a fever, should I give her medicine before, should I give her medicine after, how would she handle it, how much pain would she be in, would she sleep a lot, a little? I mainly felt guilt. I was going to take her there knowing full well that I was going to cause my baby pain, ON PURPOSE! I hated that feeling. I talked with Bryan about it and my wonderful husband told me that he would rather cause her a little bit of pain now, that would only be temporary, than cause her greater pain that would have repercussions when she was older. We talked about how Jesus does the same thing with His children, because He loves us. That made me feel a little better!

Thursday arrived and we arrived at our appointment and signed in. Long story short, they told us that they didn't have Abigail scheduled for the day and they didn't have time for her. I was SO mad! I KNEW that her appointment was that day and time, and I didn't mess it up. I was about to go Mama Bear on that receptionist so Bryan took over, but they didn't do anything to help. They scheduled us for a WEEK later because that was the earliest they could get her in. So now, basically Abigail would be getting her 2 month shots the week before she turns 3 months old! Ugh! I was so mad. I was just thankful that I hadn't given her any Tylenol before the appointment! didn't have the appointment card either to prove that we had one that day. Lesson learned, ALWAYS get an appointment card, even if you know you'll remember. Also, make sure that you receive a confirmation call from the Dr.'s office before your appointment. I didn't get one that week. Another lesson learned!

Thursday came and went and she did great at her appointment! She measured 22 and 3/4 inches and weighed a whopping 8lbs and 15.5 oz, aka 9lbs! Did I mention that she turns 3 months old on Wednesday! Obviously, I was shocked that she weighed so little. She was in the 10th percentile in weight, but 70/75th percentile for length and head. Basically she's just long and skinny! The dr. said that she was a little worried about her weight, but it wasn't anything that we needed to be too concerned with right now. She said I didn't need to start supplementing with formula or anything like that. Abigail just needs to double her birth weight by the time she's 6 months old. I'm trying not to over worry about it or my milk or how much I'm producing, but I'll admit it's hard. I do have peace right now knowing that she is healthy and happy, so she's fine. Heck, she's been sleeping through the night since forever, so obviously she's not starving!

After Dr. Pascoe left, we knew what was coming. THE SHOTS! OH NO! Bryan and I were both nervous. Daddy played with Abigail while we waited on the nurse to come in.

Daddy is soooo funny!

Oh Dad! Enough with the kisses!

I love you Daddy!

The nurse finally came in and gave her the oral one first, then asked us to hold her hands. I just wanted it to be over with already! I couldn't watch so I just looked at Abigail's face, which maybe wasn't the best idea either. The shots were over super fast, but right after the first one, she went completely stiff and started screaming. I've never heard that scream before and when I heard that I instantly started crying with her. I picked her up when it was over and she was still completely stiff. I just wanted to soothe her as fast as I could so I immediately started nursing her. It didn't take too long for her to start nursing, but she was so pitiful. She would be nursing and then stop and start crying again, like she just remembered she was in pain. We were all pitiful! I was crying, she was crying, Bryan was crying. We just sat there holding her, telling her it was ok.

Thankfully, after she ate, she was fine so we packed up and went to the car. I took this picture in the car on the way home and she just looked a little sad, not traumatized for life, so that was reassuring! I love her so much!

She really didn't have any side effects from the shots. Her legs weren't really tender and didn't get red, she didn't run a fever (we gave her Tylenol after her shots), and she slept normally. I was so glad! I'm just glad it's over! :)

Morgan and Chris' Wedding!

Last weekend we celebrated the wedding of our best friends Morgan Smith and Chris McMullen! Our story is so cool and I love to tell it!

Morgan and Bryan both grew up in Shreveport and have known each other since 1st grade. The story Morgan likes to tell is that in 1st grade, Bryan tried to kiss her by the water fountain and she slapped him! They've been best friends ever since! Morgan went to college at Baylor in Waco and Bryan went to college at ETBU in Marshall.

In high school, I met Chris McMullen when we joined Harris Creek Baptist Church and we were in the youth group together. We became friends and I secretly had a little crush on Chris! I thought he was cute and knew he was an amazing Christian guy so I asked him to go to prom with me my junior year (we went to different schools). Unfortunately, prom didn't go exactly as I planned.

At this time, Chris was a year/grade younger than me and wasn't as mature as he is now! :) Chris showed up late to pick me up prom night, was super silly, and my favorite part was when we went bowling after prom, he wore this tiny top hat that he had randomly in his car. Later, my friend Carrie accidentally bowled a ball and it went down the gutter and got stuck. What does Chris do? He goes down the bowling lane, tries to get the ball, and slips and slides all the way back up the lane. TRUE STORY! I was mortified. I can just remember thinking I had to get home and away from him as fast as I could! After that, I was so embarrassed that I didn't really talk to him. We didn't talk for probably a few months. Later though he apologized and we became friends again.

Fast forward to my senior year. Chris and I were friends again and when prom rolled around, I didn't have anyone from my school that I wanted to go with, so what did I do? Well, since I'm a glutton for punishment, I asked Chris to prom again! I figured, he's definitely grown up and way more mature this year, so we'll have a great time!

Well, poor Chris was a little nervous, considering his track record the year before! When he picked me up for prom he was acting almost too mature. We got to prom and he spent most of the time dancing with other people he knew from my school and not much with me. We left and went to an after party at a friends house. He spent most of that time talking to other people and I really didn't see him much. I was ready to go home and noticed that Chris had disappeared. I finally found him and what did I see? He was ASLEEP on the couch! Unbeknownst to me, that day before/day of he worked really hard doing yard work or something and hadn't gotten much sleep. So yes, he fell asleep at the after party! He was so asleep that I couldn't really get him to wake up so I ended up having to drive us home, in HIS truck! I'm pretty sure that I was so mad at him then that I didn't really talk to him for several more months, but I eventually forgave him and we became friends again! I went off to college at ASU in San Angelo and the next year Chris went to Texas Tech in Lubbock.

The summer after Chris's first year at Tech, he came back to Waco and took a summer school class at MCC. It was in that class that Chris met Morgan, who was also taking the same class. They soon began dating and Chris introduced me to Morgan when I came to Waco. We instantly became best friends!

Fast forward a year or two, and I went to visit Morgan one weekend in Waco where she was going to grad school at Baylor. I began complaining that I hadn't been on a date in forever, she told me about her best friend Bryan, and said she would set up a blind date for us. Well, you all know how that story ended! :)

Bryan and I got married June 27, 2009 and Morgan and Chris were a bridesmaid/groomsmen in our wedding. Ironic thing was, they were broken up at the time! Good news though, God brought them back together again and Chris proposed last December.

They asked Bryan and I to be in their wedding and we were so excited to celebrate with them! They got married at Ashton Gardens in Denton, TX and it was so beautiful!

My mom was awesome and tagged along with us so she could watch Abigail while we fulfilled our wedding duties! We had so much fun and are so incredibly happy for our best friends as they begin their lives together!